Our one-bedroom apartment needs a makeover and the storage unit is going to be filled to the ceiling, I'm afraid. On top of getting ready for the baby, my brother is in the process of selling the house we grew up in and I'm going to have to go and retrieve whatever of our late mother's possessions that I want to keep, and my own, very soon. It's a big tragedy that he lost the house (the mortgage is 2 damn high) and it's going to be sad to say goodbye to the physical memory of the space my mother inhabited. There will be no place left, after the house is sold, where I can stand and say, 'I breathed air here with my mother,' or 'I can remember her sitting just there and saying...' It is going to be equally difficult to go through her things again, this time with a need to reduce her life to one or two boxes, as well as her parents and family (who are also all dead).
I suppose I wouldn't be as stressed out right now if my wife wasn't unexpectedly laid off last week from her job of six years. There is no way anyone is hiring a visibly pregnant woman in this or any other economy, and there is also no way that my salary will be able to support us on its own. First things first, though. I may not be able to make anything better, but I need to be there for my wife emotionally as she goes through all that is involved with getting laid off. I went through all of that after 9/11 so at least I have experience. It's difficult to translate the sense of injustice and powerlessness and fatigue. On top of all of that, the hormonal fluctuations and moodiness that come with pregnancy is proving challenging for her. She's doing a lot better than many might, but that doesn't mean it's not a struggle, for sure.
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