Work and life and balance

For so many years I was not working in a professional/corporate setting - now that I get to wear a suit and tie every day I'm really happy. I think I was in the wrong corporate uniform (read: women's clothing) and I wasn't really emotionally or psychologically ready to play nice with others. A skill which you need, in spades, when you get in these places.
Now I've been to enough therapy and have a masters degree so I feel like I've had the experiences I've needed - and now that I get to collect fun ties (no cartoon characters - just fashionable) the character that is my work self is complete.
Except now that my wife was laid off and we're having a baby I feel sort of powerless - at the mercy of the workplace. It may be imagined, but I worry about setting boundaries or asking for things now that I need the job a heck of a lot more than it will ever need me. It's a primal thing, I think. I'd like to say that I am secure in my abilities enough but I'm dealing with personalities, not hard facts or data. That's the trick in offices, isn't it.
I think I also feel extra vulnerable because it is my first office job since getting out of grad school, and after transitioning. I've got to make sure I don't get too anxious - nobody likes a worry wart and I need to present as strong and confident or they'll see my doubt as weakness. It may be that I think about appearances vs. reality a lot but it may be something I've learned in order to survive. Hard to tell.
At least until the baby is born I'll be able to work late without any real ramifications - even though my wife may get mad at me sometimes. Turns out she likes spending time with me.
If I get to where I want to go in this career it won't be too big a problem and I'll be able to draw boundaries with a little more juice behind my decisions. I think for now it's all about getting along. It's a good think I don't take a lot personally and I can swallow my pride - otherwise this would not work out. It aches sometimes - wanting to do so much for my little family and wondering how I'm going to make all these dreams come true. It's a blessing to have something to fight for (rather than against) and with that I get ready for another day.